My Blogging Crap

This moment
I will reminisce
The forgotten scenery
It all adds up to become me

This moment
Time has become my luggage
Going past sadness and happiness
You’re side by side with me
Because of you I can see myself
In the unpredictable future

Next moment
Where will I fly?
My wings are slowly tiring
But because of you
I will be strong

This is just a pause
This isn’t an eternal stop
Saying goodbye is a reminder of our magnificent memories

You have to take care of yourself
And never forget those beautiful scars

Don’t worry
Just leave me
I will remember this moment
There will still be amazing moments
After the rain
There will be a fantastic rainbow
We will find our freedom at the end

"Why? Why are you doing this to me? Haven’t I given you everything you want?"

"I don’t want your meaningless gifts, I don’t want your distasteful flattery, and most of all I don’t want you," he said while turning his back.

I looked at him hoping to catch a glimpse of remorse in what he said. I bit my lip to fight back the tears. I loved him so much, how can he just throw away whatever we had just like that? Like a million pieces of glass, my heart shattered onto the ground. My whole world was crumbling around me.

"You said you loved me. What happened that made you take back whatever you said?"

He shifted his head and looked at me with the corner of his left eye and said, "I never said I loved you."

Digging my fingernails deep into my fist, I pounded the marble floor. The tears unleashed itself and started to fall onto the ground. I couldn’t breathe. My whole body jerked each time I tried to breathe. I could hear myself crying out loud, yet I couldn’t control it. He’s hurting me and I couldn’t understand why. How can someone I gave my heart, my body, my soul to be so cruel?

"Cry all you want. But don’t think that you can use tears as a weapon against my conscience. If you haven’t already noticed, I don’t have any."

My eyes were blurry from the tears. I looked up to see his back heading towards the door. I wanted to stop him but my legs wouldn’t respond. I lifted up my right arm and tried to grab a hold of him, his jeans, his shirt, anything I could hold on to to stop him from walking out of my life. I opened my mouth and his name came out with a shriek.

"Ethan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The sound of the door closing echoed in the still room.

(Written by: Ethan Lim. please don’t plagiarize my narrative! thanx.)

i hide in the corner of my room, wishing for it to go away

underneath the desk, where no one can touch me

bundling myself up in the fetal position, i lay there looking at my hands

my blood stained hands
my hands, the tools for vengeance
the very hands that were used in the game of cat and mouse
i can see the parasites eating away the flesh of my morbid existence
i close my eyes and try to clear my mind of grotesque images
the memory of my life
remnants of what used to be life
what life? i’m already dead inside
as welts of tears form in the corners of my eyes, i ask aloud,
"God, have you forsaken me?"

(copyrighted by me!)

Time flows by ever so slowly
I will await for my love
By the lake I shall stand
Eternity, for it will come to pass

Am I being foolish?
Have I looked too far?
Are you standing before me?
Or have you disappeared from my life?

Questions left unanswered
A leaf following the breeze
My life as a spinning wheel
Of disappointments and illusions

An endless vortex of cigarette butts
An infinite flow of alcohol
Empty and hollow, my mind returns to sanity
As days melt into the sea of thoughts

whenever i sleep, i wake up every 1 or 2 hours just to grab something to drink or to move around the bed, so therefore i consider myself a troubled sleeper. it’s not that bad coz i dont exactly annoy anyone sleeping next to me but it isn’t great for me.

so i had two dreams, funnily enough they were separate coz i woke up after the first nightmare and then went back to sleep to get my second dream.

i’ll try and write my dreams down in detail, i cant remember some parts but i’ll try to write down as much as i could.

i was sitting at a table with a couple of friends, their faces blurred so i couldnt see them properly but from my gut feeling i knew they were my closest friends. yes we were sitting there talking about random stuff when i needed to go back to our hotel room to change. we took one of the lifts up to the room and i changed first and was waiting for them to finish getting dressed when i got fed up and told them i’ll meet them back at the restaurant. i was walking down the eerie corridor and i felt as if someone or something was there along with me. chills ran up my spine and i walked even faster to get to the lift. pressing the button and getting into an empty lift, i felt even more tense since i was trapped in a confined area. the lift door closed and i backed myself up to the left side of the lift so i could get a clearer view of everything. i turned to my left to look at the back of the lift only to catch my reflection staring back at me. then i turned to my right to the reflective part of the door and i could see very clearly, a long haired woman in a black dress standing next to me. my heart sank and i felt my body go limp.

the lights started flickering. i blinked again to only see her move slowly, like one of those black and white movies she moved towards me with every flicker of the light. and then when she was about to touch me the lift door opened and i picked myself up from the ground and stumbled out of the lift only to see that i was not come out to the lobby area but i came out to the rooftop. i looked over my shoulder to see her materialize and follow me and laugh wickedly. she grabbed me with her pale and vieny arm and claimed me as hers. i was her victim and i had no where else to go. i begged for her to let me go but she wouldnt. i asked her for one last wish, to see my friends and say goodbye to them for one last time. she pondered for a bit before yanking me. instead of my body following her, it was my soul which she grabbed on to and my body crumpled up and fell to the floor like a marionette. i cried for her to release me but she wouldnt, she just carried on pulling my arm and into the darkness we went…

since this dream was longer than i expected i shall not venture on to the second one, but it’s alot less scary than this one for sure. i woke up anticipating that i would see the woman in front of me! that was scary…

lessons on how to kiss! i’m not saying that i’m a great kisser, i’m not saying that i’m the best kisser in the world but i’m pretty decent when it comes to kissing…so here goes

kissing should be intimate at first, the locking of two lips, the soft sound of the lower lip parting away from the higher lip. the tip of the tongue slowly licking the top/bottom lips and retreating back into the mouth. this is what i call an intimate kiss, where u actually feel the connection between urself and ur partner. for me this is the best part of kissing and as i wrote earlier before in my entries, i crave and yearn for kisses like these.

the next part is the french kiss, or what i would like to call passionate kiss. it’s when the tongue comes into play and when both tongues come together, it’s like the flicker of the tips of the tongue. i dont think it should be very long so for me i tend to let it mingle for a few seconds before pulling it back.

Kissing No Nos

this i must say is what guys usually do and i havent exactly kissed all the guys out there but i have kissed a fair share and i do declare that some are horrid, but this is purely for entertainment reasons, doesnt mean that people dont enjoy it. just that i dont….anyways let’s continue

i believe the sucking of both the lips are a no no. it’s like someone’s trying to enhale both ur lips and it kinda hurts. plus u get saliva everywhere and i’m sorry to say but sometimes u get the smell of bad saliva and it’s a really big turn off.

oh rite…on the topic of sucking…no one should ever try and suck the tongue with full force. that’s just painful and it’s…just not good.

thirdly, no one should just stick their tongue inside someone else’s mouth and just leave it there. it’s like a cold fish and it’s not exactly "kiss-friendly". i just think that it’s rude.

okay last Kissing No Nos: do not even try to lick everything u see. the lips, the cheeks, the face, the nose, etc etc. that is just foul…especially when u’ve eaten something nasty like GARLIC or DURIAN or some crap. that’s one thing i cannot tolerate.

So there you go, your very own Ethan’s Kissing Tips Class 101.

Favourite Colour: Orange/Marine-Blue
Favourite Animal: Penguins
Favourite Drink: Chrysanthemum Tea
Favourite Alco Drink: Long Island Iced Tea
Favourite Comedy: F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
Favourite Series: Six Feet Under
Favourite Car: My baby Gen-2
Favourite Game: Resident Evil/Final Fantasy 4
Favourite Smell: I’eau par Kenzo
Favourite Food: Lasange
Favourite Fruit: Watermelons
Favourite Cigarette: Peel
Favourite Book: Angels & Demons
Favourite Movie: Scary Movie
Favourite Boardgame: Monopoly
Favourite Gameshow: that grocery shopping gameshow…i forgot what it’s called
Favourite Hand: My right hand
Favourite Flower: Jasmine
Favourite Tea: Jasmine Tea
Favourite Place: My Bedroom
Favourite Object in Favourite Place: My pillow!
Favourite Kiss: The Intimate Kiss
Favourite Part of The Face: My eyebrows
Favourite Part of The Body: too shy to say
Favourite Person: You, for taking the time to read this

Moonlight audaciously dancing on the dyed edge of the window
The smokes magically illustrate every visual sense
Give me one more cup of that ancient mysterious Ganges water
The cat’s eye that i hemmed on my forehead uncovered the festival

The joints that have been imprisoned for thousands of years due to the cause of love
It is telling the love stories that have been forgotten
Listen to all the joy and misery
They are all tied to my waist
Let those pictures appear again
Let us go back into the past

Spinning
Jumping
I close my eyes
I won’t see the uproars
Are you immerged in the past yet?

White snow
Summer Nights
I won’t stop and rest
Blurring the years and ages

Stories have been depicted into the spinning finger tips
Who is it?
Who is following me idiotically?
This night, on the steps leading to the old palace
I let myself go as sweat drips from my face
Those sweats lightened up the festival

The sweats encloses me tightly layer after another
I am going to let this world forget to sleep
Your worries reflected inbetween my eyebrows
The pleasure that you have given has all come true

The bliss and sorrow is all writing in my eyes
Let them appear again, let us head into the past

The sandglass of time has been scrunched to pieces by me
No one has seen the happiness and sadness of a dancing prince

The dark clouds left a piece of shadow in our heart
I listen to my long dreary mind
Clear and transparent, it’s just like the beautiful scenery
That I can only see clearly in my memories

Can the heart-broken you continue to love me?
I hold on tightly to your hands that has no temperature
The past sweetness has been locked up by the time
Only the inseparable sadness remains

The slowly fallen maple leaves are like yearnings
I light up the candle lights to warm up the ends of year autumn
The polar lights plunder the sky
The north wind sweep by, I thought of your face
I’ve burnt my love to fallen leaves
But I can not exchange back the face that I’m familiar with

Why retrieval has to be hurriedly done before the winter comes?
Love you, and I travel through time
Two strings of tears from the end of autumn
It has let the love infiltrate the grounds
I only want you to stay besides me

The elegant red rain next to the mountainside
Withering away along with the northern wind
I gently shaking the wind bells
I want to waken the love that has been forgotten
The snowflakes have bespread the grounds
I’m deeply scared that the maple leaves outside the window has already been iced

I have almost turned my wounds into roses
My tears have become rain and has begin to circulate
I have turned my words into forever
Have forgotten the colour of the sky
Is it black or grey?

Who has been hurt by break ups?
Who has made it beautiful?
When you ponder over it, my words can’t touch
Because memories are forever beautiful

My tears, like writings have turned into poems
Your taste is forever beautiful…