My Blogging Crap

The sea from far began to cover the surface
How could my sadness be calmed down
I remained straight-faced, trying to cover a hint of resignation
You said that you wanted to leave (Love is absent)
He remained silent with a tinge of sadness
The raging waves
We will understand that it is not the waves but a sea full of tears

Turn around and leave
I can’t speak out sincerely
The love between a seagull and a fish is only an accidental occurence

Our love, has always been a controversial matter
Our love has always existed, we can’t go back
A love forever true, ends up accumulating pain
How many times has waiting lead to pain?

An azure coral sea, a missed momentary paleness
At the beginning, both of our immature confessions
The warm feelings cannot change, smiles cannot be hidden
In the face of love, a smile cannot be forced

Love is buried deep within the coral sea
How do we rebuild the damaged sand sculpture
How could a relationship with cracks be fixed?
Only that all has ended too quickly and you said you could not understand why

What surprises await in the shell
Waiting for the flowers to bloom
We do not want to play the guessing game anymore
The sea breeze caressing the face
The salty love
We could not suppress the feelings for the future

do you ever feel like sometimes u just lose faith in everything and everyone and wonder why u’re put on this earth? i’m feeling that way now. i just want to get away from it all, just run away to a place where there’s no problems, there’s no issues, no pressure but i know this place doesnt exist. that’s why i went out almost every single night during the last year. i needed to get my mind off of things and i needed an excuse to drink. drinking is the only route that i know to get out of my head. i’ve gotten out of that life and now i’m starting a new one. i’m studying hard, doing my work, being domestic but somehow problems just resurface and it’s swallowing me whole. i feel like these string of problems are hanging over my head even when i go to sleep and it’s just tearing me into pieces. i really do want to get my life back into place. i want to pass my subjects and examinations and just focus on what’s really important in my life. i feel like there’s a tonne on my shoulder and i dont have anyone to help me walk this path.

i really envy those people who are able to juggle work, studies and a personal life of their own. everytime i look at them i just think to myself, why am i not like that? why am i not able to do that? i’m blessed with a silver spoon hanging out of my mouth but i cant seem to just differentiate everything. it just clashes into one another and i am just not able to handle it very well.

calls to winnie really made me feel better. how i wish she was here in malaysia so i can hang on to her for dear life. it’s just hard growing up i guess, and conforming into this mold that u have for urself or u think u should be. i’m losing faith, and i’m searching for something else to believe in.